He was an old man who lived alone in a van in the Slabs of a desert wasteland and he had gone 84 days now without taking a dump.

The problem, when you get right down to it, with being in a remote and uninhabitable, scorched-earth setting like I am, far from the prying eyes of your fellow man, is that there is no privacy.

I mean, sure, I am a good distance from my nearest neighbor, but the only geological feature on this godforsaken terrain is the curve of the earth itself.

If I want to enjoy a moment of personal indulgance, or a brief timeout from the judging eyes of an audience who will gladly become spectators of literally any happening so they can break up the monotony they call “every day”. Then I must walk beyond the horizon, where I will be greeted by an entirely different studio audience that I didnt even know was there.

This wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose, if I wasn’t just like them. And, I know I find myself judging/shouting encouragement and advice to others based on their technique at various duties.  As with all things, I prefer to be on the giving end of that exchange.

All in all, it has left me a bit…hesitant.

It is surely strange here in my hermitage.  I have been in self-imposed isolation since my arrival to The Slabs. I was hoping the experience would be more cathartic than it has so far, if you catch my drift.  But with a new day, comes new hope.

I have read that there is a gathering spot, an amphitheater,  where each night the people of Slab City gather to listen to live music. Perhaps I will join those that have left the world behind and wring out the old year so I can ring in the new.

But, last night, I sat outside in the dark and stared at the night sky. For my whole life, I had always wanted to stare at the stars more often than I have.

I gazed across the vast void to tiny pin pricks of light. There is so much space and so much going on and all are things that I will never know.

Occasionally I would see a satellite or an airplane. Rather than interupt my awe, each added a new level of marvel. Like all times, this one is full of wonder.

There is something happening everywhere all the time and I don’t want to miss a thing. And, for a brief moment, there under the desert sky, I was everywhere all at once. It was sublimally sublime and I was god.

But, right now, the only thing I am missing is Trixie.